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Child-Safety Experts Call For Restrictions On Childhood Imagination

By Mike | February 26, 2007

Child-Safety Experts Call For Restrictions On Childhood Imagination

The Onion

Child-Safety Experts Call For Restrictions On Childhood Imagination

WASHINGTON, DC—”By constantly reminding kids that they’re human children with no magical skills, you ensure that they will live a prolonged life,” child-safety expert Kenneth McMillan said.

WASHINGTON, DC—The Department of Health and Human Services issued a series of guidelines Monday designed to help parents curtail their children’s boundless
imaginations, which child-safety advocates say have the potential to rival motor
vehicle accidents and congenital diseases as a leading cause of disability and
death among youths ages 3 to 14.

“Remember, if you see a single sparkle of excitement in their eyes, you haven’t done enough.”

Topics: Ferrium |

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